I wish I'd said it first:

"The world is a stage but the play is badly cast"
Oscar Wilde

"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away."
shing xiong

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."
John Wayne

"Life is a great, big canvas and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
Danny Kaye

Friday, February 15, 2008

Snow In San Diego --- WTF?

I hear the jingly bells and can smell the hot buttered rum wafting from Stacy Taylor's kitchen.. I imagine him turning on the gas logs and flipping through his copy of Ladies Home Journal - um... make that 1,000 Ways To Better Employment Monthly, while sitting in his Ernest Hemmingway, worn in all the right places, leather armchair in front of his special, super-duper Window Factory® double paned, cosmic windows while a thin veil of --- get ready, cue drumroll - SNOW covers the drought tolerant junipers outside. The weather Gods, Captain Mike Ambrose with John I don't believe in global warming Coleman as his copilot heave heavy sighs while passing overhead in their heavenly weather chopper, all the while causing extreme weather conditions to plague us gentle, soft Southern Californians. It is snowing in Alpine, which is, after all, in San Diego and only on the most lowest slope of the Laguna Range. Hell officially has frozen over. On the local morning news our happy Hispanic weatherman, James Quinones, safe within the confines of the Channel 10 studios stands in front of a map of San Diego and in almost sacred tones describes the latest and greatest unusual weather , meanwhile a live uplink feed of a blonde woman, cloaked in a heavy coat stands near Highway 8 and talks about the ice and snow behind her - the image, framed by cold cameras and produced by a half awake news crew lacks imagination but it manages to drive the point home... it is cold and frozen in San Diego.

Just days ago we wore shorts and sweated with temperatures that hit the 80 degree mark. Last night when I opened the slider to the canyon in back to call the cat, an icy block of cold air slammed into me and slapped me into a cruel reality... It is actually freezing cold here in my overpriced suburbia! The cat failed to come so I wished him well as I shut out the cold and crawled back under my warm, fuzzy throw to watch a murder mystery unfold on the TV.
Now, I suppose, more bubble-headed idiots will site this weird weather phenomena as evidence that there is no global warming and it is just a crazy bunch of propaganda dreamt up by aging hippies with too much retirement time on their marijuana stained hands.

Meanwhile The George Bush built Rome burns... and todays San Diego forecast? Sunny and climbing to 60ยบ

1 comment:

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