I wish I'd said it first:

"The world is a stage but the play is badly cast"
Oscar Wilde

"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away."
shing xiong

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."
John Wayne

"Life is a great, big canvas and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
Danny Kaye

Monday, August 20, 2007

My Email Group & The Republican Who Got Away

I belong to an email group. Yes I do. We call ourselves "The Bushwhacker's." We are currently 13 strong. A bakers dozen. Unlucky 13. I don't think that 13 is unlucky but every Friday the 13th the stock market tanks and millions call into work sick because they are afraid to commute. You wont have any trouble booking a flight on that day either since those suffering from triskadecaphobia never fly on Friday the 13th... Anyway - The Bushwhacker's live clumped in 2 places - Clump 1 is in Michigan. The 2nd clump is in S California - mostly San Diego with one in Pomona. I am in clump 2 -- Karen, who lives in Cheboygan Michigan, files me under the category of "shocking" --- I like to say that I am brutally honest with a twist of bitter sarcasm but shocking will work too.

In our email group, we used to have our very own brainwashed member of the GOP who was okay until he hit himself in the head with a hammer and went off the deep end and went evangelical on us... It was like watching a really scary movie and you're yelling; "Get the HELL OUT OF THAT HOUSE!" But instead, they answer the phone and find GOD. I mean it was some bad juju. He took his little friend Jim with him when he went and they now worship at a S. Baptist Church somewhere in Michigan and are planning a summer trip to Jesus Camp together after they stop at Graceland and pray at the alter of Elvis. We all opened his emails with a cringing sort of shudder - hoping against hope that he would sort of snap out of it -- but then his wife, who reads all of his emails for him, decided that I (Yes me) am SATAN and that I was having an evil influence on HIM (yes him???) and she got all weirdly jealous (!!!!!) thinking that the two of us would somehow meet and form a giant clump of cosmic monkey poo which would turn into a living breathing thing - or something like that. She told him in no uncertain terms that he was not ALLOWED (He is really a grown up, I swear he is) to ever write to me or read anything I wrote and if he did, she would make him stand on his flat, little Republican head and stack BB's with his eyelashes while reciting John:16 but replacing the word God with "My Wife who I pledge to give both of my balls to every morning". I swear that this is all true! (Okay, so I editorialized a little.)

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